Friday, March 18, 2022

Grief

 

Grief alters you in so many ways. I lost my mother four years ago, and at the time, I was under endocrinology treatments. I was tested every four months for everything you can imagine. My results reflected my life: they changed according to what I was experiencing. The endocrinologist I had was so lovely; she knew something was going wrong the first time she picked one exam. One day, my hormones had anomalous readings; she learned I was worried because my mother was sick. Then, my mother died some months later, and I went for my labs again. Everything was out of the reference ranges when I got back my results. Everything. It was unbelievable. My endocrinologist read the results, and she knew. "Did your mother die, Mary?" she asked. I cried. "Yes, two months ago." She took my results and folded them. She told me: "Don't worry about these numbers, they mean nothing. They belong to another person: a full of grief woman who needs time to recover". She was correct; I was not myself. But I found my way back, and I'll share my secret: Focus on one thing at a time. People tell you that you need to heal, rest properly, eat properly, find yourself again and reinvent your life. That sounds difficult to achieve when you're so profoundly hurt. So, my advice is more straightforward: don't be harsh on yourself and surround your life with people and things you love. It'll take time, but you'll get there. Grief lasts forever, but it becomes less draining with time. 🧡

(Listening: 
Oasis - Stop crying your heart out)
 
 
Hold up
hold on
don't be scared
you'll never change what's been and gone

May your smile (may your smile)
shine on (shine on)
don't be scared (don't be scared)
your destiny may keep you warm

'Cause all of the stars are fading away
just try not to worry, you'll see them someday
take what you need, and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

Get up (get up)
come on (come on)
why're you scared? (I'm not scared)
you'll never change what's been and gone

'Cause all of the stars are fading away
just try not to worry, you'll see them someday
take what you need, and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

'Cause all of the stars are fading away
just try not to worry, you'll see them someday
just take what you need, and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

We're all of the stars, we're fading away
just try not to worry, you'll see us some day
just take what you need, and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out
stop crying your heart out
stop crying your heart out
stop crying your heart out 

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